The Day Before The Big News

I’ve noticed that the further you come down this lane…the further you feel from your old ‘self’. I try to look back at how I felt before and I can’t remember sometimes. So I thought I’d come here and say hello to myself and potentially goodbye. The news could be that they got it out with ‘clear margins’ which means the outside of the lump they took out has no cancer cells around it. It could be that It is not clear at all and that I therefore am not clear of cancer. Now that then means – that alllll this stuff that I’ve gone through is just the beginning and that I have a lot bigger problems to deal with. Either way, having invasive breast cancer means the cells can travel to somewhere else in the body and that’s what the radiotherapy and hormone blocker is for – to try and stop it from growing some where else.

That is a very scarey prospect and I just wanted to say I’m sitting here, sorting out my blog looking at a sunny day outside wondering about popping down to get some food. Another positive thing from having Cancer the way I’ve had it (everybody is very different) so far is that – I feel that I’ve had too much stress and sadness in my life so – yes I feel it has added to my bodies health. I’ve read that we all get cancer several times but the immune system deals with it successfully. Sress is the number one Immune System Killer. (see links at end).

Anyway…I just hope I can come back to this one day. Just living my little life…having fantastic connections with friends, jamming, music, creativity and my family, and my work. It was good enough and I already knew that. If it’s clear, then I am ready to get back into meditation, yoga and healthy organic foods and consider some of the alternative foods/treatments people in the world have tried for cancer. If it’s not clear then there will be another level of fear on top of what I am used to. I will continue with my health plan but, will have to cope with saying No to the nhs only optons and being left to fend for myself.

here are some links but I have yet to really investigate this thoroughly.


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5 Responses to The Day Before The Big News

  1. susielindau says:

    Hang in there girl! I’m one year out this week. I am rockin the bionics and life is good! Thanks so much for the linkage! I’ll say a prayer for you!

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