One week after the lumpectomy and it’s been good and bad.
nursing a sore boob can get to you and with all the psychological stress on top …it can be hard at times.
Worrying about what’s going on inside…is it ok? causes more stress.
So…it started getting much more sore and taking superstrong dihydrocodiene and paracetamol was not working as well as it was so I was worried. Underneath the incision a hard lump is growing.
So the lovely nurses checked it and said unfortunately this is the way it is. It usually does get more painful, and fluid builds up and they will drain it next week if necessary. I went home and am ready to deal with more pain now that I know nothing awful is going on.
They advise that I may need to take another week off work ( arranged two weeks off ) because of the pain and also the nurse explained this is a lot of psycological …um….what do i say..that mentally this is a lot to handle so she recommended it. Money wise i will survive but it will damage my overdraft problems even more. But…all this time off work is…weird.
The next day I started throwing up for two days and was a complete wreck. Called the nurses they think it’s not linked. Spoke to my BC friend who had similar problems and it was due to it being an infection so no idea what’s going on.
When I came home from the nurses check and immediately wanted to draw on my wall ( i have a lot of blank walls) which is good because i haven’t had the urge to draw for a long time. I drew round some marks on the wall and it looked like a dogs head…from there it just grew and i had a strong feeling about it…because it started off as a doodle the dog ended up having a blue face which is a shame but that’s how it is. If i try to plan a drawing i get too scared and can’t draw.