I have been able to fall asleep without awful hours of worry for two nights. I still feel frightened but I’m telling myself to just ‘feel ok right now’ over and over and just feel how I feel as in warm and horizontal. That didn’t ever work before but my body is exhausted from stress over the last 7 weeks of always waiting for more bad news. I’m stopping myself from looking online for anything to do with it and still getting very angry with people ‘in my mind’ for being selfish and petty when they know I’m seriously ill. They don’t know it’s cancer but I’ve told them it’s serious. Still not listening. .. Not asking. .. Not getting in touch more than usual. I’m gobsmacked. It’s not just a cancer diagnosis. .. It doesn’t stop there.